the advertising world and my milk goes bad in 2 days

the advertising world is a dark, dirty, despicable place, a place i try to avoid as often as i can, stay far far away from - until its absolutely unavoidable, at which point we have a run-in.

yesterday. here's how it works. you have an ad agency. the guys at the top, the hire the younger, most exuberant souls - just straight out of university, thirsty as fuck for the nectar of this decrepit land. foolishly all they see is dollar signs, hoping to continue being able to ware the designer labels, "business minded", they call themselves. these young folks, tho not my first choice in best friend mates, are actually pretty awesome and fun to hang out with.

i mean, we're all thirsty. we're all new. we're all pretty excited about the unlimited free drinks sponsored by our bosses.

but then there are the producers. the one level below the upper level. these folks are old, haggard, money hungry motherfuckers who say things like "i'm not gonna fuck them over, at least not that much". i hate these people. these are the people, where at the end of the night, you have a crowd of 6-8 young folks who can handle their drinks, and are living their prime, and then you have one of these motherfuckers in their 30's, drunker than any one else, fucking power tripping all over the place, talkin to you like you're dirt - they yell out grotesque things like "I NEEED WEEEEDDD~!! SOMEBODY GET ME WEED OR YOU'RE FIREDD!! HA HA HA HA HA"

i want to fuck these people with boulders man. i hate these people. these people ruin the whole idea of work for me.

these people depress the fuck out of me.

i ahte these people, and yet i know how to work them. you have to feed these people. its sickening, because they'll always think they're on top. but really, they are not.

i hate this world.

luckily, the people at my office are nice. they are humble. they are smart, but not people who look to fuck over others.

but the problem here is that i still am not being used at my job the way ineed to be used up.

i like the people. this was hard to find. and they potentially have aneed for me, as they are growing. they are dealing with one of the biggest ad agencies in north america, meaning they come with contacts and money and links. all of this is good.

but what good is it for me if i'm still not happy with what i'm doing at the end of the day?

i'm not going to get ahead of myself. i'm not going to leave the job because i'm sickened by the world in whcih they delve. but i AM going to give myself a time limit.

and if by december, i'm still cutting up pages and assembling flash files, i'm going to split.

and at the end of september, i am going to sit with my boss and explain to him my sorrows. he likes me. he wants me to be succesful. i want him to use me the best that can for the wage he is paying me.

but fuck is it ever frusterating.